Clinton Era Rerun? A Short Play

A federal judge in Detroit ruled yesterday that the National Security Agency's warrantless surveillance program is unconstitutional, delivering the first decision that the Bush administration's effort to monitor communications without court oversight runs afoul of the Bill of Rights and federal law....Judges Rules Against Wiretaps, Washington Post, 8/18/2006

SETTING: Detroit, a judge's chambers
CHARACTERS: Intelligence Agent, Judge, Director of Homeland Security
DIRECTOR OF HS: We have to take action, Judge. We have proof. We can't wait any longer. I have to call in the troops or all is lost.
JUDGE: That's what you guys always say. What proof?
DIRECTOR OF HS: Tell her, Harry.
INTELLIGENCE AGENT: Judge, your honor, I've got a recording of a guy who says he's going to blow up Lake Erie.
JUDGE: Did you record this on the telephone?
INTELLIGENCE AGENT: Of course I did.
JUDGE: Oh my God!, The horror! The horror!
INTELLIGENCE AGENT: What did you think, that I invited the guy to lunch, announced that I was going to tape our conversation, and brought this information back?
JUDGE: (Screams hysterically) My God! You taped it from the telephone! That's unconstitutional. No, you may not act upon this. Go get some other form of proof!
DIRECTOR OF HS: That's all we've got.
JUDGE: That's what you guys are always saying.
DIRECTOR OF HS: What about Lake Erie?
JUDGE: What about it?
(LOUD ROARING OF A MASSIVE WAVE OF WATER OFFSTAGE)
JUDGE: What's that sound?
(INTELLIGENCE AGENT AND DIRECTOR OF HS RUN FROM ROOM)
INTELLIGENCE AGENT: (From offstage) It's 9/11 all over again!
DIRECTOR OF HS: Where's your canoe?
JUDGE: I showed them, didn't I?
(BLACKOUT, ROAR INCREASES TO DEAFENING LEVEL, THEN, SILENCE)

You were expecting Hamlet?

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