In a stunning development, HazZzmat has learned of a secret Al Qaeda plot to employ comely secret operatives to surreptitiously corrupt the West from within, leading to the infidels' eventual bloodless collapse and subsequent defeat. This diabolical plan commences its initial rollout next month in the pages of GQ. The January issue will be graced by alluring pictorials featuring Osama Bin Laden's niece, Wafah Dufour. We've obtained one of the top secret photos:
Hokey Smoke, Bullwinkle, Arabian Nights were never like this!
(Oh, okay. Ms. Dufour is actually a nice young lady who adopted her mom's maiden name to get out from under the family stigma. She's trying to start a modeling career and we wish her well. Get the real newsbrief here.)